Effective from February 27, 2006 and as a result of the death of Eddie Guerrero the WWE implemented a broad Talent Wellness Program to stop anybody doing it again. The Program has two components: 1) an aggressive substance abuse and drug testing policy; and 2) a cardiovascular testing and monitoring program. The program was designed and is currently run by Dr. Mark, who Bryan Alvarez, in the past, has noted is not a mark doctor.
The main points of this program are:
- Prohibits the non-medical use and associate abuse of prescription medications and performance-enhancing drugs
- If you have a prescription from any person claiming to be a Doctor, then that’s fine, take the whole bottle.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
- You can smoke all the hash you like, but don’t get caught speeding with a bong in one hand and some pills in the other.
- Bobby Lashley will be exempt.
- If you fail a test, you will be suspended for 30 days without pay, but still have to work house shows and TV.
- A second positive test results in a 60-day suspension without pay or if you are not currently in a major program on TV, in-patient care at a substance abuse facility, during which the Talent also will be suspended without pay. Said talent will also be awarded the World title at some point (unless you're William Regal).
- A third positive test results in termination and it serves you right for not finding a loophole by then.
- Random testing will take place on the first Monday of each month, at around 5:47pm ET.
- The WWE will be getting a third party to do all their testing, but if you have any problems, don’t worry, speak to Vince McMahon and he’ll sort it out.
- Anybody found with less then 1:4 testosterone levels (four times higher then normal) will pass with flying colours. Between 1:4 and 1:10 will get a really nasty ticking off and a smack on the wrist. Between 1:11 and 1:58 will get you a stern and strict title push. A 1:59 will cause you to kill yourself and your family.
- A 1:∞ testosterone level is perfectly normal for those undergoing Testosterone Replacement Therapy. No punishment will be administered for such results. This rule applies to the living as well as the dead.
- Anybody found to have massacred their family, will automatically fail.
- Any extra curricular activity associated with steroid use, for example murder, dying etc should only take place during news heavy weeks involving Paris Hilton.
- Enjoy the Wellness~!
In August of 2007, as a result of Fat man's Unfortunate Incident, WWE introduced new rules of the Wellness Policy. They are as follows:
- Marijuana smoking is strictly prohibited. If you are caught smoking marijuana, you will be given a 7 dollar fine, and will get a stern talking to.
- A T/E ratio above 57:1 is frowned upon, but acceptable.
- Birth Control pills have been added to the Wellness Policy. If you are a male, and are found to be using birth control pills, you will be pointed and laughed at.
- All Wellness Policy violators will be named publicly on WWE.com, unless you are a main-eventer, midcarder, or semi-jobber. If you fall under one of those categories, the company encourages you to take some drugs. Bulk is good.
- If you fail a Wellness Test, the company reserves the right to hold off punishment until after WWE gives you a false push, so as to make the company look good to the public.
- Dr. Mark will still head the Wellness Tests. If you have taken illegal drugs lately, talk to him. You may have overpaid.
- Continue to enjoy the wellness!
- Gay men excite Vince McMahon. Oh Yeah!