acelcnazelvi Useless Moron Scott "Scooter" Keith (found August 30, 1974, in Smithers, British Columbia) is a fat gay racist slob who wrote wrestling reviews from his mom's basement. Now he's married and has no time for wrestling. Instead he grazes on grass in the fields with his cow of a wife.

This has not stopped Keith from writing books for profit, even while admitting that he no longer watches the product.

One reviewer summed up Keith's writing style as "ambitiously stupid".

He is also undefeated in Hot Dog eating competitions, having once eaten 57 hot dogs in 15 minutes.

He also famously once ate 16 pounds of sheep brains in 3 minutes.

Once swallowed an entire turducken, beginning a feud with Mark Madden which lasts to this day

Scott Keith loves anal dew.

He's fat.

Claims that the NWA was formed in 1964, and that Buddy Rogers beat Lou Thesz to become the first Champion.

He dropped out of school at the age of 13.

His books have also been described as being "full of factual errors, and sometimes, brutal spelling errors".

He is unable to go to the second floor of any building, as his enormous weight would result in him crashing through the ceiling into the room below.

Scott Keith is a fat fuck.

Scooter has a vagina butt.

Married an orca that he captured from Sea World.

His wife was the visual inspiration for the Vogons in the movie of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

He was far more disgusted with Road Warrior Animal for teaming with Heidenreich than he was with Chris Benoit for murdering his own wife and son.

Called Hulk Hogan, wrestling's biggest draw from 1982-1998, the "King of the Fad Audience".

Scooter Keith deletes posts on his blog because of his poor self image and racist views.

When asked his opinion on Scott Keith, one wrestling journalist replied "who the fuck is keith?"

Has stopped watching wrestling, and these days mainly reviews the 18 hours of television he watches every day.

Scott Keith is convinced that had Owen Hart not died at Over The Edge 1999 he would have gone on to be WWF World Champion shortly afterwards.

Scooter is also convinced that the original booking plan for Summerslam 1993 was for Hulk Hogan to drop the WWF Title to Bret Hart.

Most of the television shows he watches have a target market of 13-year-old girls.

Has an unhealthy mancrush on deceased childkiller Chris Benoit.

Was once trapped in the bathroom for 3 weeks.

Every chair and sofa in his basement has been specially reinforced due to his enormous weight.

Has resorted to running "fantasy tournaments" on his blog where trolls vote for "the best tag team ever". To nobody's surprise the Hart Foundation won. Clearly rigged.

Has taken to deleting posts from his blog which contradict his narrowminded, prejudiced view of Wrestling and Wrestling History. In keith's mind if you don't agree with him, you don't exist.

Has been namechecked by Dave twice.:

First time was when Dave claimed that his parents bought him Scooter's "Death of the WWF" book for Christmas, as they like buying him the most obscure wrestling merchandise there is.

Second time was when The Meltz said that WWE's new 'Rise and Fall of WCW DVD would be shit, as the people making it had no knowledge of the reality, and that their "knowledge" consisted of "surfing the internet and reading Scoot Keith-level historical material".

Since The Mexican was due too much of a dumbass to make separate discussion pages, I'm asking this here, AFTER the article....

Can someone upload the picture at

That poor dog looks terrified, someone should call the Animal Cruelty people!

Also, what happened to the picture of him and his repulsive wife?

Also, Ormberg is a fucking cunt.

Oh, and by the way, you morbidly obese pile of pus, the over-the-tope elimination match is called a battle royal, NOT a battle royale. You may be thinking of the James Bond movie Casino Royale, although it's far more likely you're think of a royale with cheese. And the plural is battles royal, NOT battle royales. You try to come across as some superior expert, but you can't even speak simple English. Why no stick to reviewing fast food outlets, you fat fuck?

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