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SEXUAL PREDATOR

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SEXUAL PREDATOR

SEXUAL PREDATOR

SEXUAL PREDATOR is a poster on THE BOARD~!, and he is widely regarded as the most popular and funniest member of the F4W Empire. Some wonder whether it is "Sex Pred"'s intention to be funny or if all of his posts are deadly serious [WHO?]. He is notable for writing love advice columns in ICHIBAN~!'s Grappling Insider Weekly, a weekly newsletter that rivaled the Figure 4 Weekly Newsletter in both comedy and factual reporting.

THE BEST OF SEX PRED Edit

Re: Super Chico's Big Package:

--->I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO POST THAT I WOULD PROBABLY BE TOO EMBARASSED TO SHOW OTHER PEOPLE WRESTLING-RELATED AUDIO AND VIDEO DISCS BUT THEN I GOT THE JOKE YOU GUYS WERE GOING FOR AND JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF "OH MAN, THOSE ARE SOME UNFUNNY PEOPLE" AND THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "I WONDER IF THEY KNOW ANY IMPRESSIONABLE FEMALES" AND THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE THINKING THIS WAY" AND THEN I SAID THAT OUT LOUD AND NOW HERE WE ARE.

BACK ON TOPIC, IF I HAD $75 TO BLOW ON STUFF LIKE THIS I'D DO IT. FOR REAL..

Re: Caps Lock

---> AS FOR CAPS LOCK I KNOW WHAT IT IS, SILLYPANTS, BUT IN THIS WORLD THERE ARE LITTLE LETTER GUYS AND THERE ARE BIG LETTER GUYS AND I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHICH CATEGORY I FALL INTO LOL.

Re: MVP

--->OH MAN, I HOPE THAT VITO PUNCHES THAT MVP GUY RIGHT IN THE NOSE. MVP? MORE LIKE "MVJERKFACE" LOL.

Re: Craig's lovely daughter

--->HEY GUYS ME FIRST LMAO.

Re: Rhymes

--->VAL VENIS IS BARRY HOROWITZ FOR A NEW GENERATION

FACT: VAL VENIS RHYMES WITH "SMAL PENIS" WHICH IS ONE LETTER AWAY FROM BEING "SMALL PENIS" WHICH IS A LOT OF LETTERS AWAY FROM BEING "I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE A FRIGHTENINGLY SMALL PENIS" WHICH IS WHAT A GIRL ONCE TOLD A FRIEND OF MINE..

Re: A girl on the board ---> I AGREE, BABY. MAYBE WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT IT. WHILE LAYING DOWN. WITHOUT OUR CLOTHES ON. WITH ME ON TOP OF YOU. THRUSTING..

Re: Laying down the law

--->I'VE LAID DOWN A LOT OF THINGS BUT THE LAW ISN'T ONE OF THEM

JUST SO THERE'S NO CONFUSION BY "THINGS" I MEANT "GIRLS" AND BY "LAID DOWN" I MEANT "TRIPPED AND CLIMBED ON TOP OF TO PERFORM A SEX ACT" AND BY "BUT" I MEANT "ON THE CONTRARY" OR "YET".

Re: owning a fellow poster

[quote="SexPred"]SOMETIMES I HAVE DREAMS WHILE I'M AWAKE AND IN THOSE DREAMS I SEE MONSTERS AND THEN I KIND OF SHAKE MY HEAD AND STOP DREAMING AND COME BACK TO REALITY AND THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THOSE MONSTERS BECAUSE I THINK THEY'D HURT ME..

[quote="junkmaildog"]I also have a dream where people don't post in all caps, oh wait... .

[quote="SexPred"]IF YOU'RE SERIOUS THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT GO ON THE INTERNET AS OFTEN AS YOU DO AND IF YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS AND THAT WAS SOME ROUNDABOUT WAY TO SAY "HEY SEXUAL PREDATOR, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS. IT INTIMIDATES ME" THEN I UNDERSTAND BUT ALSO THINK THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT GO ON THE INTERNET SO OFTEN BECAUSE YOU'RE A BIT OF A DOUCHEBAG YOU KNOW?.

Re: The Meltzer show

--->MY PROBLEM WITH THE SHOW IS THAT THERE WERE TOO MANY TOPICS COVERED IN TOO SHORT OF TIME. I LIKE MY MELTZER THE SAME WAY I LIKE MY LADIES - SPREAD OUT. WELL I ALSO LIKE MY LADIES TO HAVE A SHAVED VAGINA BUT I DON'T EXPECT THAT OF DAVE. .

Re: buffben

--->THAT'S PRETTY GAY DUDE ALMOST AS GAY AS USING THE WORD BUFF IN YOUR HANDLE LOL I'M JUST KIDDING AROUND YOU SEEM NICE.

Re: HIS BIRTHDAY~!

--->I DON'T KNOW IF THIS SORT OF THING IS FROWNED UPON BUT I CAN'T SEE WHY IT WOULD BE SINCE WE'RE ALL WRESTLING FRIENDS. ANYWAY SEPTEMBER THIRD IS MY BIRTHDAY BUT I WON'T SAY HOW OLD I AM BECAUSE IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER BUT I WILL SAY THAT I'M SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 25 AND 29 AND THAT I'M NOT 27 OR 28

WHOOPS I GUESS I GAVE IT AWAY LOL

BUT ALL KIDDING ASIDE AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO MYSELF I'M GOING TO GO AND GET A HAIRCUT AND THEN AFTER THE HAIRCUT I'M GOING NEXT DOOR TO THE ADULT NOVELTY SHOP TO MAKE THE GIRL AT THE COUNTER FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BY LICKING MY LIPS AND TELLING HER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS AND THEN I'M GOING TO GO AND SIT IN MY CAR AND SHAKE MY HEAD WHILE I TELL MYSELF WHAT A STUPID CREEPY GUY I AM AND THEN I'M GOING TO WAIT UNTIL SHE'S OFF WORK AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A DATE THAT SHE WON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT AND I'LL PROBABLY LMAO FOR A BIT AFTER.

Re: Rebecaa DiPietro

--->REBECCA IS ATTRACTIVE BUT ALSO LOOKS LIKE SHE MAY HAVE A MILD CASE OF DOWNS AND I CAN'T DECIDE IF THAT HELPS OR HURTS HER.

Re: just a random post

--->HAHA YEAH ONE TIME I WAS ON TOP OF THIS GIRL AND SHE STARTED YELLING AND I ASKED HER TO STOP YELLING SO I DIDN'T GET INTO TROUBLE AND THEN SHE KEPT YELLING SO THEN I ASKED HER AGAIN WITH MY FIST AND SHE STOPPED FOR A BIT..

Re: Daughters

--->IF I HAD TWO DAUGHTERS I'D PROBABLY GET IT FIRST TOO LOL

I MEAN THAT I'D PROBABLY HAVE SEX WITH MY DAUGHTERS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE.

Re: Myspace

--->I NEVER GO ON MYSPACE ANYMORE BECAUSE WHEN I USED TO I'D SEE PRETTY GIRLS AND FORGET THAT THEY'RE JUST PICTURES AND I WOULD GET SO EXCITED BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HAD A LOT OF HOT CHICKS LIVING IN MY COMPUTER THAT I COULD DO STUFF TO BUT THEN SOONER OR LATER I'D BE NORMAL AGAIN AND REALIZE THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE AN ARMY OF TINY, SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN LIVING IN YOUR COMPUTER AND RIGHT AROUND THEN IS WHEN THE CRYING WOULD START AND I CAN'T DO THAT TO MYSELF ANYMORE..


Re: Anal or Vag

--->FIRSTLY I DON'T SET OUT TO MAKE ANYONE BLEED I MEAN IF IT HAPPENS GREAT BUT IF IT DOESN'T THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT TIME ROFL AND SECONDLY THE ASS CAN BE A PAIN TO GET INTO ON ACCOUNT OF MY ABNORMALY LARGE GENITALS (BOTH OF THEM) SO I'M A VAG/MOUTH KIND OF GUY

AND I THINK NAMBLA IS KIND OF GROSS NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE HOMOSEXUALS BUT BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT MORE THAN SEX AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WANTING TO LOVE ANOTHER MAN UNLESS HE IS REALLY, REALLY HANDSOME.

Re: PCNThomas

--->KNOCK KNOCK

WHO'S THERE?

PCNTHOMAS

PCNTHOMAS WHO?

PCNTHOMAS THE ANNOYING CUNT

LMAO JUST KIDDING BUDDY YOU'RE ALRIGHT JUST A LITTLE OBNOXIOUS.

Re: Bix

--->I SENT A BIX A PM ONCE AND WHEN IT SAID THAT HE HAD READ IT AND I STILL DIDN'T HAVE A RESPONSE THAT'S WHEN I KNEW THAT WE WOULD PROBABLY NEVER BE FRIENDS AND AFTER THAT I WENT TO THE FIELD BEHIND THAT STORE DOWNTOWN AND THOUGHT ABOUT THINGS FOR AWHILE.

---> SO THE NEW VERSION OF MY STORY IS THAT I SENT BIX A PM ONCE AND HE DIDN'T RESPOND FOR A FEW WEEKS AND THEN I SENT HIM ANOTHER PM AND THEN I CAME TO POST IN THIS THREAD AND WHILE I WAS DOING THAT THE NEIGHBOR DOWN THE HALL STARTED YELLING AT HIS GIRLFRIEND OR PET AND CAUSED ME TO SPILL GREEN TEA ALL OVER MY PANTS AND THEN I GOT REALLY MAD AND PUNCHED MY WALL AND YELLED "SHUT THE FUCK UP!! JUST FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FUCK YOU BURNED ME" AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS GRANDMOTHER WHEN I SAW HER THAT ONE TIME AND HOW I WANT HER TO RUB MY HEAD AND TELL ME NICE THINGS AND LET ME TOUCH HER LEG AND RIGHT AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT I CAME BACK TO FINISHING THIS POST.

Re: Dan

---> RAAAAAAAH I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU LMAO.

Re: Alvin & The Chipmunks

--->SOMETIMES WHEN I'M WITH A LADY I CLOSE MY EYES AND PRETEND THAT SHE'S BRITTNEY FROM THE CHIPETTES AND WE'RE AT A CAMP LIKE IN THAT ONE EPISODE ONLY INSTEAD OF GETTING UP TO WHACKY HIJINX WE GET UP TO DIRTY, INTER-SPECIES SEX BUT LIKE I SAID I ONLY DO IT SOMETIMES BECAUSE I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT MYSELF AFTER.

Re: The best fiver he ever spent

--->THE BEST FIVER I EVER SPENT WAS THIS ONE TIME WHEN I WAS AROUND TEN AND I WAS WALKING DOWN BY CHERRY STREET IN TORONTO AND SOME INDIAN WOMAN WITH NO TEETH AND A SHORT SKIRT WHO WAS ACROSS THE STREET YELLED OVER AT ME AND OFFERED ME SEXUAL FAVOURS IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY AND I GOT FREAKED OUT AND RAN INTO A NEARBY RESTAURANT AND BOUGHT A SANDWICH AND POP AND THEN AFTER I WENT BACK OUTSIDE AND SHE WAS GONE BUT OH MAN WAS THAT EVER A GOOD SANDWICH..

Re: the same female on the board from earlier

--->I HATE NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU SMELL LIKE..

Re: Melina liking 3ways

--->I BET THAT SHE PREFERS ONE COCK STUCK IN HER CUNT AND ANOTHER STUCK IN THAT GAP BETWEEN HER FRONT TEETH ROFLMFAO SERIOUSLY THOUGH I THINK THAT DEEP DOWN MOST WOMEN PREFER THREE WAY SEX AND JUST AREN'T AWARE OF IT OR HAVEN'T TRIED IT OR ACTUALLY DON'T PREFER IT.

Re: [img]http://www.wwe.com/shows/ecw/strippoker/pokerphotos/MarialickPoker.jpg[/img]

--->EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THAT PICTURE I LIKE TO PRETEND THAT I'VE JUST EJACULATED INTO THAT GLASS AND MARIA IS LICKING IT OUT AND THEN AFTER THAT SHE TAKES MY HAND AND TELLS ME "YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND I'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LET YOU GO" AND WE KISS AND THEN I GET KIND OF GROSSED OUT BECAUSE SHE JUST FINISHED LICKING THAT GLASS RIGHT?.

Re: Gymnastics

--->GUYS DON'T DO GYMNASTICS, PERIOD

OH I'M JUST KIDDING WITH YOU BRYAN NOW LET ME ASK YOU A SERIOUS QUESTION: DO YOU SIT DOWN WHEN YOU PEE?

LOL I'M SORRY I'LL TTYL.

Re: Women are evil

--->THEY SURE ARE MIKE ROE BUT THEY SMELL NICE AND HAVE WONDERFULLY SOFT NETHER REGIONS (LOL I WAS GOING TO TYPE "CUNTS" BUT DIDN'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE). SO IT KIND OF EQUALS OUT YOU KNOW?

TTYL.

Re: Dan's birthday

--->HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAN 17 IS YOUNG AND RIPE WISH YOU HAD A VAG.

Re: Dan being worried about Sex Pred's predatory

--->LOL THERE'S AN OCEAN BETWEEN US AND I'M NOT EVEN LEGALLY ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY, SO THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SCARED BUDDY.

OFF TOPIC, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THERE'S AN OCEAN BETWEEN ME AND EVERYBODY..

Re: Haiku's

--->HAKU, BEAUTIFUL AFRO AND TONGAN DEATH GRIP CLUTCHES AT DAN'S HEART


OH AND AS A BONUS

FAT GIRL DOWN THE HALL CUTE FACE, I AM DESPERATE TAKE HEAD, DON'T TELL FRIENDS.

Re: Mackem Man being mean

--->SEE THAT WASN'T VERY GOOD EITHER AND IT WAS ALSO KIND OF MEAN AND IT MAKES ME WONDER IF BEING FUNNY IS REALLY THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU, THAT YOU'LL LASH OUT LIKE THAT AT A PRETTY GOOD GUY WITH A NICE SMILE AND THAT MAKES ME SAD AGAIN. FOR YOU. BECAUSE IT'S PATHETIC. IT'S A PATHETIC WAY TO EXIST.

LOL I'M JUST JOSHIN' YA MACKEMMAN I'M SURE YOU'RE ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE NOT BEING A DOUCHE ASL?.

Re: Uggs

--->OH HERE'S A JOKE I JUST THOUGHT OF

WHY DO THEY CALL THOSE BOOTS UGGS?

BECAUSE THAT'S THE SOUND THAT I MAKE WHEN I EJACULATE INSIDE OF THE GIRL WHO IS WEARING THEM.

Re: Grandma Pred

--->MY LATE GRANDMOTHER USED THE PHRASE "HAIR OF THE HEAD" ON A SEMI-REGULAR BASIS.

FUNNY GRANDMA PREDATOR STORYALSO INVOLVING HAIR: ONE TIME I TRIED TO THROW A PIECE OF PAPER INTO A GARBAGE CAN IN A BASKETBALL PLAYER-LIKE FASHION, BUT I MISSED. MY GRANDMA HAD BEEN WATCHING AND SAID TO ME "MAYBE IF WE PUT A LITTLE BIT OF HAIR AROUND THE RIM OF IT YOU'D BE ABLE TO GET IT IN" AND THEN WE BOTH STARTED TO LOL, TOGETHER, AND IT WAS A NICE MOMENT. A NICE MOMENT BASED AROUND LOVE AND A NICE MOMENT ALSO BASED AROUND INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS FROM A 67 YEAR OLD LADY AND (HERE'S THE MOST SPECIAL PART GUYS) IT WAS A NICE MOMENT ALSO BASED AROUND TWO FAMILY MEMBERS FROM DIFFERENT GENERATIONS ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT THEY KNEW ABOUT THE MECHANICS OF FUCKING..

Re: Dogs vs. Cats

--->DOGS ARE LOYAL AND FUN TO PLAY WITH BUT CATS ALWAYS WALK AROUND WITH THEIR TAILS UP LETTING YOU SEE THEIR PRIVATES SO I GUESS THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR GOOD POINTS..

Re: Who you think is hot

--->NOT SO FAST [img]http://www.waitakere.govt.nz/CnlSer/rl/ww/images/ww-young-girl.jpg[/img].

Re: Monty Brown's gimmick

--->I THINK THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE HIM BE AN ANGRY, STYLISH AND INCREDIBLY TOUGH GAY MAN.

Re: 5 year old bridesmaids

--->THAT'S JUST WRONG BECAUSE HE WILL ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE IN GREAT SHAPE IF HE IS GOING TO FUCK ALL THREE ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT FROM MY EXPERIENCE FIVE YEAR OLD GIRLS CAN RUN REALLY FAST

FOR THE RECORD I MEAN GIRLS THAT ARE FIVE YEARS OF AGE NOT FIVE ONE YEAR OLD LADIES ALTHOUGH THAT MIGHT BE MORE FUN EH LOL I'M NOT SERIOUS I REALIZE THAT MOST ONE YEAR OLDS CAN'T EVEN RUN

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M GOING TO GET YOU LMAO.

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