Professional wrestling is a growing culture that comes with a language all of its own, and if you don't learn it, you'll never survive in the real world. Colleges often teach whole courses on professional wrestling slang, and there are scores of careers that rely on it. For example, the Allied Powers used scholars with doctorates in professional wrestling slang as code-talkers, which helped immensely in winning the war. Professional wrestling slang scholar Stephen Hawking wrote a book that explained professional wrestling in layman's terms called A Brief History of Professional Wrestling Slang. It was #2 on the New York Times best selling list, trumped only by the scholar achievement The Da Vinci Code.
A Show - A show is any program that shows images that are cohesive and coherent, particularly in a professional wrestling context.
A Team - A team is any group of people who work together, particularly in a professional wrestling context.
Abortion - Any match that features a female aborting her fetus in the middle of the match. These are typically the most bloody hardcore matches, and are only conducted by bloodthirsty lib'rals.
Andre Shot - Any match that features a close-up shot of a wrestler's private parts, particularly Andre the Giant's. The more naked, the more deserving of the name.
Agent - Any match where a contender in a match inexplicably transforms into a man in a suit with sunglasses. This often leads to their opponent being devastated.
Alignment - See Dungeons & Dragons
Angle - What an angler does.
Apter Mag - When a wrestler has had their mouth beaten so badly that they pronounce "aftermath" as "apter mag."
Arm Color - A wrestler who painted their arm for no discernable reason, usually the result of painting.
Around the World - Whenever a particular wrestler performs the yo-yo trick of the same name to knock out their opponents. See the film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze for a particularly great example of this.
Attitude Era - That period of time when the WWF shifted from "family-oriented" sweaty, half-naked men to "edgier" and more crude, fully clothed men.
B-Show - What comes after a show.
B-Team - The guys who show up after the A-Team.
Babyface - Any wrestler that never fully developed an adult face, much less whose testicles dropped. These are highly frowned upon wrestlers, as they often are eunuchs.
Backyard Wrestling - A long and proud tradition practiced by aspiring young performers with dreams of the big city in their heads. These can lead to low-production, but high-quality, musicals.
Bait and Switch - A horrid promoter tactic that involves luring customers with large, delicious worms, but then packing the seats with fish. It has much of it's origins in Soviet Russia.
Batman Match - Any match that features the dynamic tag team of Batman and Robin. The most famous example of this involves Batman and Robin battling a shark in a 2-on-3 Handicap Ladder Match that ended with Batman spraying the shark, dropping it, and reclaiming the coveted Batcopter.
Beat Down - Any match featuring the musical stylings of rap, and it leads to a wrestler being killed in the ring, usually by gun shot. See also Andre Shot.
Bizarro World - See Soviet Russia.
Blade - A comic book superhero that battles the forces of vampires. Blade also has an extensive career in the ring, including a legendary Japanese Death Match with Stephen Dorff.
Blading - Any wrestler that deliberately steals Blade 's moves or motives.
Blind - A physiological state of lacking eyesight. This is not recommended for wrestling, unless you are Daredevil, a famous wrestler from Japan that dresses in all red leather.
Blind Tag - A very cruel, however funny, game that involves tagging your blind friend, declaring that they are "it" and leaving them alone for hours on end. The more you have to stifle your laughs, the funnier it is.
Blow Off - A wrestling match of extremely pornographic nature. See also Andre Shot.
Blow Up - A wrestling match where one of the contenders is physically exploded. Former WWE Intercontinental champion Wile E. Coyote is notorious for this finisher.
Blown Spot - Ground Zero of a Blow Off.
Bonzo Gonzo - The Great Gonzo's infamous match finish involving wrestlers being shot out of cannons. This inadvertantly lead to T&A's X-Division.
Booker - A wrestling bookie.
Booking - A wrestling bookie at work.
Botch - To screw up, particularly in a professional wrestling context.
Bozark - Whenever the B-Team arrives at the Ozark Mountains. This is never good for their opponents.
Bowling Shoe Tendencies - The tendency of bowling shoes to be worn in the ring as a form of fashion. See John Cena.
Bowling Shoe Ugly - When a wrestler has been brutally stomped in the face to the point of needing extensive cosmetic surgery with bowling shoes.
Boys - What female wrestlers go crazy about, but rarely see from their cages.
Broadway - The ultimate achievement for a backyard wrestler.
Brocking - Snapping a stalk of broccoli to intimidate your opponent. This is often very effective, if not downright evocative.
Bull - A male wrestler that is predominantly raised to impregnate female wrestlers to reproduce more wrestlers.
Bum - A wrestler's naked ass. See also Andre Shot.
Bump - Two wrestlers competing for an Andre Shot.
Bump Card - An entire wrestling program that consists of wrestling matches where they do nothing but compete for Andre Shots. These are wildly popular in Japan.
Bury - An impromptu funeral service that is held if a wrestler is killed in the ring. This happened a lot in the Attitude Era.
Busted Open - When a fat wrestler's pants rip apart, probably while Bumping.
Call - When a wrestler receives a cell phone call during a match. Fucking cell phones!
Canned Heat - Similar to a can of whoopass, but instead a mild heat wave is emitted when opened. This is enough to make the wrestler uncomfortable and seek the thermostat.
Card - The lineup of wrestling matches for a show. Nothing more, nothing less.
Carny - Circus folk, small hands, smell like cabbage.
Carry - The act of one wrestler carrying a loaded weapon to the ring, probably to kill their opponent.
Catchphrase - A particularly clever zinger that a star wrestler uses just before the closing credits.
Championship - The wrestler with the belt. Even if the belt is stolen, that thief is now the champion. It's a rough life.
Cheap Heat - To garner heat in the arena by actually using the thermostat. This is frowned upon by traditionalists.
Cheap Pop - When an arena actually sells pop for $0.50 a can. This is a mere fantasy though.
Cheap Shot - When a wrestler that is Carrying shoots his opponent. This is cheap and is way too easy a way to defeat your opponent, so this is frowned upon by traditionalists.
Chemistry - A major, influential branch of science that has improved the quality of civilization, but has little to do with professional wrestling.
Circus - Where Carnies dwell.
Claret - East End British slang for music played with a clarinet. Such announcers will typically say, "Give us some clar'et!"
Clean Finish - When a match ends without bodily fluids or paint all over the place. This is not favored by traditionalists.
Clean House - After a show, a janitor cleans the arena, particularly the ring area, of bodily fluids and paint. This is a much coveted occupation.
Closet Champion - When a wrestler is champion and gay but no one knows it, so they take their colleagues for a night on the town, only to ruin it by announcing that they are secretly the champion and gay.
Clobberin' - What former WWE Hardcore Champion Ben "The Thing" Grimm referred to with his Catchphrase before a match would start.
Clusterfuck - A highly pornographic match featuring many wrestlers in the middle of the ring. This is almost never a Clean Finish.
Color - There are two definitions: 1) A racist remark concerning non-white wrestlers or 2) A wrestler covered in buckets of paint, in hopes of achieving a Crimson Mask.
Color Commentator - An announcer that is actually a plant to get a wrestler painted.
Crash TV - A dangerous camera technique that involves driving a car in the arena to get shots of the wrestlers to post on YouTube.
Crimson Mask - When a wrestler has been painted so much that the fumes cause bleeding of eyes and nose. This gets huge standing ovations from crowds, and is done by the best of the best. See The Muta Scale.
Curtain Jerker - A wrestler that can't get laid after a show.
Dark Match - A wrestling match that is done entirely in pitch-black dark, and it is home of the most insane wrestling this side of Wrestling Society X. See also Blind.
Daydreaming - When a wrestler is not paying attention to the match, which is usually followed up by a Beat Down.
Dead Weight - When a match must continue without a Burial.
The Deal - Sometimes called The No Deal.
Dirtsheet - A special, non-clean finish that involves a wrestler crapping in their shorts. Very nasty, and very cool to the fans. Sycho Sid is the most famous Dirtsheeter.
Diva - A very affeminate wrestler who is a primadonna. See also Closet Champion.
Do Business - See Dirtsheet.
Dogging - When a promoter risks losing ratings by showcasing an ugly woman on a show.
Doing Business on the Way Out - When a wrestler Does Business while running at full speed. This led George Carlin to renounce his anti-professional wrestling slang ways permanently when he observed this at the six-hour WWE event "No Way Out" in which Scott Steiner was tricked into taking laxatives instead of steroids, and tried to find the way out. The fact that he was in the first match and that the Pay-Per-View lives up to its name led to the biggest Dirtsheet in professional wrestling history.
Double Clutch - When a wrestler fails at their first Brocking attempt, and looks very underwhelming to their opponent as a direct result of their failure.
Double Juice - When two wrestlers paint each other in a brutal, death-defying exchange.
Double Turn - The rare occurrence when the Babyface both turns into a man, and then into a woman in the same match. This is usually followed up by an Andre Shot.
Down South - A term used to refer to any move that victimizes any body part below the belt, like the Bum. This is frequently heard during a Blow Off.
Draw - In the rare occurrence that both opponents are Carrying, they engage in a classic Western gun duel, which in turn usually leads to a Cheap Shot and a Bury. This has become so popular that it is often featured as the only form of wrestling, being called "shoot wrestling" and is featured extensively on WWE Monday Night Draw.
Drawing Power - The speed of which a wrestler can Draw.
Dropping the Strap - When a wrestler reveals that they are in fact a woman in disguise. See also Closet Champion.
Dud - A stud from a Bizarro World.
Dusty Finish - After a Draw, the dust settles, and if it's a Clean Finish, it's a Dusty Finish.
End - Also known as Finis in Latin.
Enforcer - A wrestler that sucks so much that they become glorified bodyguards. See T&A wrestler A-1.
Enmascarado - Ancient Latin for a wrestler that uses mascara. See also Closet Champion.
Extended Hope - When a wrestler miraculously gains a clear advantage in a Blow Off.
Extreme Wrestling - A style of wrestling that often goes too far with everything and it ends up ruining the relationship with your girl. Then it probably steals her from you.
Extremists - Wrestlers that are actually terrorists working undercover. Osama bin Laden is the most famous example, when he worked under our noses as the first Sabu.
Face - Short for Babyface, so you know what to expect.
Face in Peril - A Babyface that is about to get Bowling Shoe Ugly, or be victimized by an Andre Shot.
False Comeback - A wrestler that retorts to his opponent, but what he said has no actual weight. Former X-Division Champion Pee-Wee Herman is infamous for this, with his Catchphrase "I know you are, but what am I?" mantra that he used to torment his former rival Francis Buxton.
False Finish - Not "Finis" in Ancient Latin. This is a common mistake made by new wrestling fans.
Fan Cam - The illegal recording of a show that makes you a dirty criminal. These are typically filled with Andre Shots however.
Fan Favorite - The most popular wrestler to appear on a Fan Cam. The more Andre Shots, the more popular.
The Federation - Slang for the FBI when there are too many Draws on a single Card.
Feeding - When a wrestler eats before a match. They do a lot of this if they are expecting to be Buried.
Feud - A multi-generational dispute between wrestlers and their families. These get pretty intense, and they can have a lot of ugly Double-Juicing and False Comebacks.
Fighting Spirit - What exits a wrestler's body upon defeat.
Finish - The end of a match, often completely unexpected.
Finisher - A maneuver that prompts a Finish. See Randy Orton for one of the deadliest Finishers in the business.
Five Moves of Doom - The pointed finger, the waving finger, the overhead punch brother, the irish whip dude, and the leg drop brother. See Hulk Hogan's article dude.
Five Star Bump - When a Bump is so Extreme that you can see five visible stars circling the loser's head.
Five Star Match - A match that has five visible stars circling the ring at all times, leading to extremely entertaining Backyard Wrestling matches.
Flair Chop - When a crowd lets out a sarcastic "Wooh!" sound to comment on the wrestler's lack of ingenuity and originality by chopping his opponent.
Flair Flip - When a wrestler Botches a flip.
Flair Flop - A match that is full of Flair Chops and Flair Flips. These are virtually unheard of in Dark Matches.
Flat Back Bump - When to Bumping wrestlers go for a sexy back to back pose.
Flub Coverup - When the wrestlers take a time out to apologize for their mistakes during a match.
Fluff - A move that makes your opponent jiggle, as if they are "fluffy."
Following - The conglomerating stalkers of a given wrestler.
Foreign Object - An exotic item from a far off land that is used to bash an opponent's brains in, like an ocarina for example.
Four Star Match - Similar to a Five Star Match, but with only four stars circling the ring. The stars aren't there, but the spirit sure is, and if they work even harder, even a four star match can lead a man to Broadway.
Freebird Rule - A wrestler can Finish a match by challenging an opponent to playing "Freebird" on Guitar HERO II with sudden death rules.
Front Office - The office of the head of a wrestling promotion. This is always surrounded by ominous music, and is strangley found in every arena.
Gaijin - Pregame tactic commonly associated with originating from ECW legend Rob Van Damn. Typically costs $50 a bag.
Garbage Wrestling - In one of the most innovated matches of all time, Oscar the Grouch and Oscar of the Odd Couple faced off in the back of a trash truck while it was picking up trash. This 1988 battle was legendary, with Felix, Archie Bunker and Fred Sanford interfered on behalf of Oscar from The Odd Couple, all of TV Land fame, while Big Bird, Animal, and Gonzo, of Muppet fames, interfered to help Oscar the Grouch. After 8 brutal, hours Oscar the Grouch took the blade from a thrown away lawn mower and decapitated the false Oscar. All other participants suffered severe wounds, ranging from broken legs to amputated arms, to quadriplegic status. The tape of the bout is banned in 56 countries, Canada is not one of them.
Gas - Mutual tactic of the Robot Wrestlers and Lucadores. The only difference is what they consume.
Gate - Unique twist on the ladder match twice used by Chuck Norris and once by Barney and by Brutus the Barber Beefcake. Barney got his head taken off by a Chuck Norris roundhouse off the top of the gate, Brutus the Barber got his left arm taken off by Chuck Norris using Brutus the Barber's scissors, Chuck Norris actually got his beard cut by Brutus the Barber. Chuck Norris is not satisfied, nobody dares to face him again.
Geek - One who has no life; typically can name every NWA, AWA, TNA, WCW, ECW, and WWE World Champ without hesitation. Be afraid if he's a Hulkamaniac, he won't be afraid to RUN WILD ON YOU!!
Get the tights - Original catchphrase of the Dudley Boys. After 5 straight loses DeVon convinced Bubba Ray that they should 3-D their opponents through a table instead of tights.
Gig - Short slang for Gigolos, male prostitutes given free to the World Champ. See also Closet Champion.
Gig mark - Location after the match where the champ and the Gig meat up to get it on.
Gimmick - Originally the name of an Irish-gimp wrestler who always got the living shit beat out of him.
Gimmicked - Being beaten to the point of gimphood
Gimmick Table - Slang for stretcher, since Gimmick always left on one
Gizmo/Gizzmo - Name of the first robot to win the World Heavyweight Championship. He was eventually Gimmicked by The Undertaker in a Bury Alive Match at Judgment Day. Gizmo has never been seen since.
Glorified Jobber - Any jobber who ever got the opportunity to receive an Andre Shot.
Goozle - The single handed choke hold a wrestler puts on their own member in before a chokeslam.
Going Bush - 1. A popular female wrestler fashion in the 70's. 2. Typical response by disenfranchised Liberal wrestlers.
Going Into Business For One's-Self - A particularly disgusting and selfish habit of Dirtsheeters. See Doing Business.
Gongus Wrongus - A typical phrase used by a Gaijin who thinks that they know Latin enough to criticize their opponent.
Good Hand - A wrestler's hand that is prepped for a Goozle.
Gorilla Position - The champion when enjoying the company of a Gig, unless they are a Closet Champion.
Green - New wrestlers are only allowed to use Green paint, so as to denote their status.
Gusher -Fruit snack particularly enjoyed by practitioners of the "Gaijin" technique.
Ham-and-Egger -Finishing move commonly used by Sam I Am during his Japansese death match days of the 1990s. Involves castration of the balls through the use of an iron skillet. Also used as slang for when an Andre Shot goes too far.
Hardcore wrestling -Innovated by Ron Jeremy and Andre the Giant during their tag-team days. Refers to a style of wrestling that involved fucking your opponent into submission. Believe to be the inspiration for the Buried Alive Match.
Hard Flop -Former finishing move of Andre the Giant that involves a dick slap that knocks the opponent unconscious. Also used more recently by Ric Flair, Ron Jeremy, and Bill Clinton.
Hard Way - One of the toughes ways to wrestle, this involves wrestling with a boner throughout the entire match. Chyna was notorious for taking advantage of this with her devastating Low Blow technique. This is the typical wrestling style that leads to Blow Offs.
Hard Way Juicing - The consumate Finisher to a Blow Off, in which the attacker jizzes in the opponent's mouth. He also may legally Goozle for the win.
Heat - Relatively high temperatures, the way that either Mother Nature or the Thermostat intended it to be.
Head Drop - When a submission hold is so strong that the opponent's head pops off, and it becomes a hilarious game of Hot Potato. Great for the kids.
Heat Vacuum - A phrase associated with a large vortex in the time-space continuum on the ceiling of the arena that sucks all of the heat from the arena. T&A's Abyss makes ample use of this with his Black Hole Slam, in which he slams his opponent into the vortex.
Heavy - A condition in which a wrestler is not as light as their opponents.
Heel - A wrestler who prefers to wrestle while standing on their hands, in a sort of Capoeira gone retarded kind of way.
Highspot - A series of maneuvers that makes the wrestler appear to be high after Gaijin.
Hood - A wrestler that wears a hoodie to the ring and gets heavily painted in humilitation.
Hooker - The female equivalent to a Gig.
Hope Spot -
Hoss - The name of a particularly popular wrestler who used his large size and Brocked frequently, resulting in very few matches where he actually wrestled. He was tag-team partners with Gizmo for a short stint, but dove into the grave to save him, and was also buried because he lacked the brains to get back out.
Hot Shot - One of the most devastating finishers used by the man-mountain Kilauea, in which he Goozled over his opponent with liquid-hot lava.
Hot Tag - When the Human Torch made his special appearances, he would tag in his partner, who would scream in pain from the burns.
House Show - Backyard Wrestling in the projects, where they don't have playgrounds. Houses would typically be packed full with up to 80,000 people in attendance, forcing the actual tenants out of their homes, out of their windows, and only about 20 people being able to see the match from the same floor.
Hulking Up - See Hulk Hogan, brother.
Hung Up to Dry - When a wrestler, typically male, lands onto the rope with their groin.
Indy -Considered one of the most brilliant promotional ideas in sports entertainment industry, refers to the match between Ravishing Rick Rude and Terry Funk. The match was to take place on a wrestling ring being supported by 8 IRL cars going at top speed at the Indianapolis Speedway. The match ended when Rick Rude drop kicked Funk out of the ring and onto the pavement at 200mph. As a result Terry Funk not only suffered severe physical injuries but also suffered from a blow to the brain which resulted in him refusing to quit wrestling even though he is a complete embarrassment now in days.
International Object - Originally a reference to Andre's package during an Andre Shot, is now commonly referred to whenever a foriegn born wrestler gives a variation of the Andre Shot. Currently Edge is the most frequented shower of his "International Object", however, the regularity with which he displays it pails in comparison to Andre's unprecedented pace.
International Spot - Result of when an International Object get stimulated too much.
Internet wrestling community (or IWC) - Online town in which wrestlers train constantly and wrestling fans ogle at the site of their favorite wrestler.
Job - One of the many finishers used by Andre the Giant during his heyday, consisted of grabbing the nuts of the opponent and beating them into the ring post until there's nothing left. Previous victims include Sid Vicious and Yokozuna.
Jobber - Any wrestler who has been on the receiving end of a Job, the Job does not necessarily have to be from Andre.
Jobber to the Stars - Any wrestler who has received a Job from a main event wrestler, particularly the World Champ or Andre the Giant.
Joshi - Japanese Gig who services the Champ.
Juicing - Used by Godzilla and Andre the Giant, involves squeezing the bodily juices from one opponent, drinking the juices, then pissing them on another opponent. Was devastatingly effective during Godzilla and Andre's run as World Tag Team Champs.
Kayfabe - The codeword for the subverting effort by a conspiring cabal of wrestlers who try to convince the world that professional wrestling is not real, and is in fact choreographed. This is universally panned by critics as silly, as is clear from observing footage from the 1980's.
Kick Out - Sometimes, a baby manages to kick out of an Abortion and out of the womb and stomach, spilling innards and bodily fluids everywhere. See the film Dead Alive for a perfect example of this.
Kill - Sometimes, the Emperor himself will attend to a wrestling event, and if he points his thumb downward, the winning wrestler is authorized to kill their opponent.
Kill [the/a] Town - When the Emperor gives a wrestler authorization to Kill an entire town of people. Godzilla has received this command on many occasions.
Lead Ass - A Backyard Wrestler that is the lead in a play, but comes off as an ass. This term is often used in editorials.
Legit - When a wrestler refuses to quit, as first coined by M.C. Hammer.
Legit Heat - When the Heat in the arena is in fact from the outside, and is not Canned Heat.
Light - Any match that features strictly pastel paints.
Loose - A female wrestler that has had too many conjugal visits with other wrestlers.
Locker Room Sell-Out - The complete opposite of a wannabe in a professional wrestling context.
Lucha Libre - Mexican professional wrestling. Translates to Run To America, Be Free!. This style is characterized by wrestlers leaving the ring and crossing the border.
Luchador - A Mexican wrestler; Illegal Aliens is the proper plural form.
Lucha Rat - A fan that would rather run south of the border than get a goddamn beer from the fridge for me.
Lunch Wagon - A derogatory term for a Luchador that has to wrestle shortly after having a lunch full of beans. Gas is guaranteed to ensue in such matches.
Main Eventer - Sometimes a wrestler will complain about various things and claim that they are a "Main Eventer." Yeah, right, Cena, now get me that beer.
Manager - A wrestler that manages to finish a match with absolutely no paint or Arm Color.
Mania Era - The period of wrestling where only clinical maniacs actually wrestled. This gave way the more level-headed Attitude Era.
Mark - A wrestling fan that is trying to stop Kayfabe.
Marking Out - A moment of joining the efforts of the Marks.
Marriage - When two wrestlers actually marry each other. The typical ceremony consists of the male drugging his mate and dragging her to a drive-through wedding chapel. See Triple H for one of the most famous marriages ever.
Máscara - A cross-dressing Mexican masked wrestler (from the Spanish for mask)
Meat Squad - Nickname given to the stable of degenerates back in the early 1980s; composed of Oscar Wilde, Jesus the Christ, the Trix Rabbit, and Harvey Birdman. The group only lasted 4 months, however, after Jesus the Christ DDT-ed the Trix Rabbit for trying to eat Trix cereal. While Harvey Birdman opposed such actions Oscar Wilde simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."
Mercy Kill - When Andre the Giant finishes a match without any paint or Andre Shots.
Mic Work - As part of rookie hazing newbies are required to carry arround and clean a mic so as to be able to pleasure the Champ, especially if he's a Clost Champ.
Midcarder - A wrestler who just isn't tall enough to be the Champ; Rey Mysterio Jr., Eddie Guerro, and Lucky the Leprachaun are the only Midcarders to ever become the Champ.
Missed Spot - When an Andre Shot goes awry.
Money Mark - End result of a Val Venis or Oscar Wilde match.
Money Match - Innovative 1988 match between the 6 Million Dollar Man and the Million Dollar Man Ted DeBiase in which the match took place inside a safe full of $100 bills. Ended when the 6 Million Dollar Man got 6 million dollars placed somewhere that money shouldn't go.
Money Promo - Promo that involves showering the fans in pennies until they suffocate, last attempted in 2000 by WCW in retaliation to dropping fan interest.
Monster heel - Refers to the heel of any massive wrestler, such heels are possessed by Andre the Giant, Optimus Prime, Oscar Wilde, and Godzilla.
Moondogs - A dog from the moon, duh.
MOTY - Multiple Orgasm Tag-team Yoodle
MotYC - Multiple Orgasm Tag-team Yoodle Contest
Mouthpiece - Protective gear used to thwart the full effect of an Andre Shot, legal in most wrestling promotions.
Muta scale - A scale (from ?(low end) to !(! end)) to measure the amount of paint on a wrestler by the end of the match. Based off a classic 1987 encounter between Andre the Giant and Oscar Wilde in which Andre the Giant tossed an entire 50-gallon drum of paint on Oscar Wilde, considered the most painted match in wrestling history.
No-sell - When a giggilo can't satisfy a Closet Champ and the Champ refuses to fake it.
No-show - When Andre the Giant fakes an Andre Shot.