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Paul Orndorff

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Paul Orndorff is a southern hick, fucktard, and former sports entertainer.

Orndorff is most famous for two things: riding the coattails of other peoples' success, and running his mouth off about fantasy fiction that never happened.

Orndorff's biggest "success" in pro wrestling sports entertainment came when he co-headlined the first WrestleMania. However, that same match featured Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper and Mr. T. Orndorff was the guy who works with the guy who makes money, in other words.

Also headlined many events against Hogan, drawing big money. However, when Orndorff was moved to other feuds, he never drew flies.

Moved to WCW. Again, when he worked with guys like Arn Anderson, Orndorff was magically a "draw". However, when working with other guys, nobody cared about Orndorff, except that psychic guy with a wig that looks even faker than Lawler's.

After years of abuse to his body, Orndorff atrophied, and had to get a job as a gopher for WCW. Which brings us to the other thing Orndorff is famous for...

In 1995, Orndorff, working as an errand boy, started running his mouth off to Vader, calling him a variety of names, insulting Vader's wife, and daring Vader to hit him.

Vader gave Orndorff a "get out of my face" semi-wussy slap, which knocked Orndorff unconscious.

Checking to see whether "Mister Blunderful" was seriously injured, Vader hovered in front of Orndorff. Orndorff responded by punching Vader as hard as he could four times in the face. Other than a bloody lip, Vader showed no ill effects. Orndorff than strutted off bragging about how he'd "knocked out" Vader. While other drug addicts like Brian Pillman congratulated him.

Only problem was that Vader was standing right behind him. Orndorff again punched Vader full force, which got no reaction from Vader. Leon then took Orndorff down in a front facelock, again rendering "Mr Wonderful" unconscious, before Meng pulled Vader off, ending the 'fight'.

Despite this, many assholes like Pillman(before he died), Teddy Long, Ric Flair, and guys who were not even there like Steve Austin and Piper continue to tell tall tales about how Orndorff "beat the crap out of Vader...twice!" In some versions, Orndorff was wearing shower shoes. WTF? Orndorff himself NEVER misses an opportunity to tell this story, with no two versions ever being exactly the same.

In reality, Paul Orndorff had suffered a stroke, and the arm that he had supposedly beaten up Vader with had withered away to a hunched husk. Which is why he could punch Vader multiple times in the face, which resulted in no more than a bloody mouth for Leon White.

Thus, the guy who headlined the first ever WrestleMania, and The Big Event will forever be remembered as a broken down old man who's full of shit.

Maybe he should have taken Gary Spivey's advice?

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