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Orlando Jordan

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Orlando Jordan is a retired professional wrestler and intrepid time traveler. Jordan is best known for being a total jobber on WWE's SmackDown! brand, and especially for losing to Chris Benoit in less than thirty seconds on repeat occasions. After a series of such humiliating defeats, Jordan put his intellect to good work and devised a time machine, which allows him to visit any era. He has since disappeared from the wrestling scene and taken up time travel as a full-time occupation. It is widely rumored that the TV cult favorite, Doctor Who, is based upon Orlando Jordan himself.


...Yo.

Time Traveling Exploits Edit


Since creating his time machine, Jordan has had amazing adventures into the past:

Beginning of time - First fully-developed male human being on Earth to procreate, making us all his descendants
0-Secretly made Mary preggers, leading towards Jesus and the slow demise of the jews
1066 - Killed King Harold II with arrow at the Battle of Hastings
1510 - Told Martin Luther "ya'll don't need to put up with no Roman Catholic bullshit"
1839 - Led the Amistad rebellion
1863 - Gave General Grant the Confederate Battle Plans in the Battle of Gettysburg
1888 - Was spotted in the Whitechapel area of London
1930's - Taught Marlon Brando how to act
1945 - Put at cap in Hitler's ass
1955 - Clonked Dr. Emmit Brown's head against a toilet. Brown then discovered the flux capacitor, which makes time travel possible. Jordan then stole his plans.
1960 - Sixth member of the Beatles. Ousted when John Lennon decided they didn't need a DJ to "mix them phat beatz"
1960's - Invented the Muppets; let Jim Henson take the credit for them
1968 - Partnered with UNIT and The Brigader to defeat an Invasion of Cybermen.
1975 - saved London from an invasion of dinosaurs.
1970's/80's - under the pseudonym "Grandmaster Flash", he was a pioneer of the rap movement
1983 - worked with all but the 4th Doctor to defeat Rassilon's evil scheme and save the universe. (The 4th Doctor was trapped in a time scoop.)
2007 - Defeated The Master under disguise as prime minister Harold Saxon with the help of Martha Jones and Captain Jack Harkness.

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