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A fantastic wrestler who has been having great matches since he became a wrestler and makes loads of money for WWE. A man so great, that his number one fan is the mighty Anchor.

K-Fed made him his bitch.

Spokesman for the WWE drug free generation.

John Cena is cited as proof that God exists as he went un-injured for a huge run with the title while Smackdown had injured 3 champions. His strange injury from a hip toss is beleived to have occured because even God was bored with his never ending title run. And Beaner blames Kennedy for this shit!

While his finishing moves are predacated on the theory that his opponents somehow "can't see" him because he is waving his fingers in front of face, ironically, Cena has failed to "see" that by placing his own hand in front of his own face, it is actually Cena who cannot see his oppoents.  The irony here has escaped Cena, his oppponets and millions of fans the world over, and everyone seems to just dig that shit anyway.  It's eerily similar to how a two-year-old "hides" from you by covering her own eyes in a game of 'peek-a-boo'.

Don't talk shit about Total Divas if it gets back to Cena you'll be fucked.



Full Cena Moveset Edit

1. FU
2. STFU
3. Protoplex
4. Five Knuckle Shuffle
5. Diving shoulder Tackle
6. Fisherman Suplex
7. Poorly executed top rope leg drop
8. Clothesline
9. Punch
10. Bulldog/Throwback
11. School Boy Roll up
12. Drop toe hold
13. Arm Drag
14. The Steps Throw (See: Royal Rumble, Umaga)
15. Hurling of Edge into the Sea
16. FU through a table
17. FU through TWO tables
18. FU off of steps onto a table
19. FU off of machinery
20. STFU Ladder Sandwich (actually kind of cool)
21. STFU w/ the Ring Ropes to choke
22. Weak chairshot
23. Kicking of chair when he realizes just how bad that chair shot was.
24. Feet up when being sandwiched in the corner
25. Protoplex on the steps
26. Five Knuckle Shuffle with someone on the steps
27. Five knuckle Shuffle off of the ladder.
28. Pumping up of Pump up shoes
29. 'You can't see me' hand gesture
30. Hiptoss while landing on his ass like a goon
31. Powerslam - kinda.
32. Weak kick when setting up FU.
33. Monitor CRUSH~!
34. Back elbow
35. Armbar
36. Body slam
37. DDT
38. Irish Whip
39. Running the ropes
40. Gay Marine Salute
41. Screaming/Yelling
42. Quivering
43. Overcoming the Odds
44. Missing cross body
45. Side Headlock

46.Attitude Adjustment

47.STF


(That's 42 more moves than what Bret Hart knows)

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