The best and by far the most popular wrestling commentator there currently is, but is too old, speaks with a southern accent and most be replaced by somebody younger, incompetent and hated at the first possible opportunity. He must also be humiliated too.
Classic JR quotes:Edit
“As God is my witness he’s broken in half!”
“Oh my good Lord Jesus H fucking Christ, I can’t believe that thing just happened, what possible future consequences are there going to be for that particular action taken by that certain person just now”
THE NOTORIUS '87 OMNI BLOODBATHEdit
In a 1987 dark match at the Omini, Jim Ross wrestled Road Warrior Hawk in a no DQ, falls count anywhere, sixty minute Iron Man match. Although many people doubt its existence, a handful of fans claim to have seen it.
JR won the match with the first ever recorded Death Valley Driver off the top rope to the floor. The final score was 1-0 for Ross. Witnesses of the match said it was the most beautiful experience of their lives.
Immediately after the match, one ringside fan stabbed her eyes out with a plastic Koko B Ware action figure. She was said to be screaming "I NEED SEE NO LONGER!" as she gouged away at her sight.
This was JR's first and only match as a wrestler. The damage he sustained in this match forced him to refocus his attention on the announcers booth, although many believe that JR had the potential to be the finest mat technician the sport had ever known. Highspots in the match included a double rolling huracanrana by Ross, a powerbomb through a coffin by Hawk, a 450 splash by Hawk that missed Ross and landed on an unsuspecting toddler at ringside, a moonsault by Ross wrapped in leather strips saturated with BBQ dipped broken glass, Hawk sodomizing Ross with a wacky foam finger, Ross headbutting, killing, skinning and subsequently devouring a deer that wandered into the arena, Hawk spearing JR with the infamous spiked Road Warrior shoulder pads, and JR doing a body shot of Jim Beam off a 12 year old Stephanie McMahon before driving a splintered table leg through referee Teddy Long's thigh.