Jakey is currently the #1 gay on the board, no matter what jonnymudd says. Even though he is gay, he is able to get more pussy than 90% of the board. Sometimes he gets really whiny, especially when he's talking about Corey Cooper or Trish Stratus. He weighs about a hundred pounds soaking wet.

Typical Jakey Club Story Edit

AS BEFORE: This story is basically true. Names of people and places have been changed to protect the guilty. Oh. . . and I re-iterate, although the events in these stories all happened sometime during the past twenty years, they are all told as though they are recent events. Bon appetit.

Whilst my main job as doorman was at Peroni Nightclub, Thursday to Sunday - I also covered the door at Funboys on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Most pubs and clubs struggle for customers mid-week - but not Funboys. The excellent bar-staff were all very young and very attractive; the DJ was hot; the décor and ambience were exceptional; but it was the performers that attracted the crowds. Starting at nine o'clock and running every fifteen minutes, a selection of the three boys and five girls would come out onto the stage and/or the two catwalks and perform for the crowd. Sometimes it was simply a dance routine; other times it was more of a 'show'.

Occasionally, usually when the lager had been flowing more freely than normal, the shows took on a more exhibitionist, erotic tone. Because of this occasional display of female flesh I had taken it upon myself to act as the interior doorman - patrolling the bar areas to make sure nothing untoward happened - and copping myself a number of flashes.

Of the five girls I had one particular favourite. Simone was nineteen and petite. She wore her blonde hair in a very fetching boyish short cut which. . . I dunno, it just rang all my bells. But not only was Simone an absolute doll to look it, she was also witty and charming and great fun just to talk to. Which was fine except I really, really, REALLY wanted to just 'do' her.

I worked at Funboys for around eleven months before my dream of sexual contact with Simone was finally realised. It was Wednesday 11th April - the day before my birthday. Because I wasn't working on Thursday the staff had decided to celebrate my birthday on the 11th, and throughout the night I was the recipient of a number of birthday kisses - a lot of them of the open-mouthed, tongue-fencing kind. I also had my cock felt up on two occasions; sadly neither by Simone, and scarily one of them from Bryan the ever-so-gay male dancer.

The no-drinking-on-duty rule was relaxed for me and each time I passed the bar there was another glass of cold beer waiting for me. As a consequence by midnight, as we were closing up, I was feeling warm and cuddly inside. And distinctly horny.

Most of the bar staff, raced out of the door as soon as they were able, heading for town and a chance to have some fun themselves. By one o'clock it was down to me, Sean the bar manager, Bryan the dancer (who was also Sean's boyfriend) and two of the girl dancers; Joanne and the lovely Simone.

We sat around the bar drinking, telling jokes and stories and basically having a good time. And then Simone suggested a game of truth or dare. The other four were all much younger than me and were all definitely up for it. Not wanting to seem like an old fogie I reluctantly agreed.

It started off fairly innocently with just a slight under current of sex. Who did you lose your cherry to? Have you ever had a three-in-a-bed session? That kind of 'truth'. Then we started in on the 'dares'.

Joanne was dared to flash her boobs. Without a flicker she lifted her sweat top to reveal a beautiful pair of bra-free tits, full and proud and topped off with a juicy set of nipples that were as erect as if someone had just stopped sucking on them. Even Bryan and Sean took a second to admire them. Me? I started to feel the familiar pulsing in my pants and I surreptitiously rearranged myself.

Bryan was then dared to whip his cock out, which being an outrageous extrovert performer, he did before Joanne had even finished talking. I tried to keep my eyes away - it's a macho kinda thing us guys feel compelled to do, girls - but I caught a glimpse and I had to do a double-take.

It was huge! I mean, I've stood next to guys at urinals, and I've played football for years and regularly showered with team-mates some of whom had impressive lengths, but this. . . It was HUGE. There is no other word to describe it ( which is a stupid thing to write, because now I'm going to HAVE to describe it).

First off, it was flaccid, okay? This wasn't a cock in prime ready-to-pounce condition, it was the size it normally was. Bryan had his right hand wrapped around it as he waved it about and still there was a good six, seven inches hanging over the edge. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Simone and Joanne staring open-mouthed. Sean - Bryan's boyfriend remember - merely shrugged.

"Bloody hell, Bryan! It's. . . huge!" exclaimed Simone.

I turned to Sean. "You mean to say you take that. . . thing up. . . y'know?"

Again he shrugged. "Only when I'm plastered out of my skull. Or stoned."

Joanne was virtually drooling. "Oh I've got to try that." She managed to drag her eyes from Bryan's cock to his face. "Can I? Please, pretty please"

"Yuck, no!" screamed Bryan, "It's for the boys."

"Oh come on, Bry," pleaded Simone. "Let her have a go. Just a suck - you don't have to fuck her, just let her blow you. You can pretend it's Sean."

"No, no, no." Bryan reiterated.

I swear Joanne started to pout like a baby whose favourite toy had been taken from her. But it was clear that Bryan was gay to stay. Sean went to get another round of drinks and we returned to the game.

It was my turn, and I decided it was time for me to get something.

"Simone, your turn," I said. "Truth or dare?"


" I dare you to flash your pussy at me."

I held my breath as I looked into her eyes. There was no embarrassment there. No fear. No shock of horror. She gulped at her drink, wiped her lips with the back of her hand and stood up. Without the slightest pause, she unzipped her shorts and pulled them down and off. Underneath was a pair of white panties which without a beat she pulled to one side to reveal. . .

It was gorgeous. Fine, blonde wisps of hair covering but not concealing her slit. My semi-rigid cock became fully hard as I stared at it. The seconds dragged by with not a word from anyone - presumably because neither Sean nor Bryan nor Joanne were that interested in what Simone was showing. I, on the other hand, had never seen anything so beguiling or interesting.

I think I actually licked my lips.

I think I might have said 'wow'.

With a smile Simone said "Time's up", and let go of her panties. Although her pussy was now covered, the image seemed burnt on my retina and I continued to stare.

"Your turn, Kenny," Simone said to me. "Huh?" "It's your turn. I dare you to show us yours."

Although reluctant to whip my old man out in front of two gay men (hey, what can I tell you - I'm a stereotype!) I knew I had little alternative. With a deep breath I stood and started to unzip - secretly glad that I was still semi-erect and in a fairly large state. I gave myself a fanfare and dropped my boxers - noticing as I did that ALL of the other four were watching me intently.

I think there were some reactions along the lines of . . . a wolf whistle from Simone; a nod of approval from Sean; a 'nice' from Joanne; and, I think, a lick of the lips from Bryan. Silently I counted to five as I showed my cock off, then I started to pull my boxers up again.

"Woah there boy," exclaimed Joanne.


"You're puttin' it away? Why not leave it out?"

I didn't know what to say so I took some expert advice from my cock and said, "Fair enough as long as every one else gets theirs out too."

Simone shrugged and whipped her panties right off, followed almost immediately by Bryan and Joanne. Only Sean was having none of it. Bryan tried to cajole him but Sean was unmoved. In the end they went off to a corner, had a heated discussion which quickly raced into an argument, whereupon Sean threw the keys at Bryan and stormed out of the doors.

Bryan shook his head and muttered something like 'fuckin coward' before pouring four shots of Southern Comfort and bringing them over. "Lets party, people" he said as we took our glasses and, as one, downed them. More drinks were fetched (and not paid for) and we sat there, our private parts on open display.

"Right," said Joanne, "Let's turn this up a notch. Bryan? I dare you to get yourself hard in front of us." Bowing theatrically, Bryan stood and started to jerk at his mighty cock. Despite myself I couldn't take my eyes off it as it started to swell and thicken and rise up, past his navel and then his ribs. I remember pondering on whether he could give himself a blow job and might even have actually asked the question had not Joanne moaned loudly and virtually flung herself onto Bryan's lap grabbing for his cock.

"No, no, no," squealed Bryan as he tried desperately to pull his cock out of Joanne's grasp. He was laughing at first and I thought he considered it to be all in good fun, but the harder Joanne hung onto his cock the less funny it became until eventually he roared and slapped Joanne across the face. She released her grasp and fell backwards onto her ass , her legs wide open and, I noticed, her pussy engorged and gaping.

"Jesus, Joanne you fuckin' weirdo. Don't you get it? I like boys, okay? I want a cock not your slimy horrible slit!" and with that he flounced off to the dressing room leaving the three of us staring open-mouthed at his retreating back.

"Leave him be," said Simone. "He's always pulling hissy fits. Ten minutes time he'll be back out and acting like nothing happened." She took a slug from her drink and turned her attention back to me. "So. . . birthday boy. Any chance of watching you get yourself hard?"

"If I can watch you two getting wet at the same time."

The two girls exchanged glances and shrugged in unison. Simone stood and pulled her chair a foot or so away from Joanne's as Joanne got up off the floor and back into her chair. With perfect timing, almost as though they had rehearsed it, or at least done this before, the two of them spread their legs and draped them over the arms of their chairs.

In front of me, less than six feet away where two gorgeous, nubile teenagers, with no knickers on and their legs spread apart revealing juicy cunts.

"All together?" asked Joanne.

I could only nod.

I started to wank on my rapidly growing cock. Truth be told I was going to get hard without touching. Fuck, it was quite conceivable, I could shoot my load without touching as well. But the girls wanted a show so I stroked. Meanwhile they toyed between their legs. Joanne went straight for her clit, rubbing the tips of her fingers sideways across her nub, while Simone went for the slit, languidly running a finger up and down, dipping in occasionally, and rubbing the juice onto her lips. My eyes were flicking crazily from pussy to pussy to their faces and back down again. I could feel my orgasm hurtling down at me, and it must have shown on my face because Joanne said, "Fuck, he's gonna' cum already."

With a huge effort of will I let go of my pulsing cock, biting down on my lip and trying to calculate the square root of 2209 in an effort to ward off the coming storm. Unfortunately I'm a bit of a whiz at maths and the answer - 47- sprung into my mind ridiculously easily, followed at once by a pretty healthy burst of ejaculate from my cock.

Joanne burst out laughing - not the sort of response I look for at the point of orgasm. Simone didn't laugh. She walked off to the ladies and came back with some toilet paper. She knelt down in front of me, took hold of my still-stiff cock and started to wipe me clean. Yeah, I know, in an ideal world she would have licked me clean with her tongue. But then in an ideal world I would have Bryan's cock and much better staying power.

As Simone wiped she looked up at me. "Reckon you could go another time?"

I nodded, and began to believe that I was really going to get to rub naughties with her. "Okay," she said, "but it has to be the way I want it. Agreed?"

Again I nodded.

"Wait right there," she said, getting up off her knees and heading for the dressing room. Puzzled, I watched her delectable naked ass waggle off. I looked at Joanne - who by now had stopped laughing and had returned to idly playing with her pussy - and silently questioned her as to what Simone was up to. Joanne shrugged- she didn't know.

Just then Simone came back out with Bryan - now wearing his Marilyn Monroe drag outfit - in tow.

"I want you to fuck me, Kenny," she began. "Which will scratch our little itch. Then you have to do Joanne so that she gets hers too." I wasn't going to turn that particular offer down - unlike the next part. "But first I wanna watch you suck Bryan's cock."

What!!!! Suck his...... Was she crazy? I wasn't gay. Beside a little curious fumbling when I was around twelve or thirteen I had never played with another guy's cock. And I didn't want to now either.

Simone let go of Bryan's hand and came to kneel in front of me again. I had to force my eyes off her pussy and up to her face. She spoke quietly and softly, but huskily too. I got the impression she was as horny as hell. "It's not gay, Kenny," she began, "It really isn't. You know guys have this thing about seeing two girls go at it? It's like that. I've never seen two guys and I really want to. It would be sooooo horny to watch you suck Kenny's cock. And if it makes it easier , Joanne and I will play with each other while we watch."

The silence in the room was palpable. Secretly - and this is the first time I have ever admitted it - I wanted to know what it felt like to try and get that huge cock into my mouth. What would it taste like? Could I do it better than most girls had done it to me. My mind started arguing with itself. It's gay! It's just skin, like kissing a finger or a neck. Yeah, and what about pre-cum? What about a mouth full of sperm? How bad could it be?

I glanced up at Bryan. He was obviously okay with the idea. I made my decision. "It goes no further, right? Especially you Bryan. No getting into a fight with Sean and confessing just to get back at him!"

Bryan licked a finger and crossed it over his heart - hope to die. I nodded - then just as I was about to agree, I had a bright idea.

"Before we start, though. Simone,I wanna watch Joanne lick your pussy while you masturbate into her mouth. Give me a few minutes of that. . . and I'm in."

They didn't even think twice or pause. Joanne lay down on the floor and Simone squatted over her face. Lifting her neck Joanne started to lick and kiss on Simone's pussy, nibbling on her cunt lips and pulling them down to her, stretching them. Simone, gurgled as the sensations seeped through her body. Steadying herself with her right hand on the floor, her left hand snaked down and started to rub at her clit. I shuffled in my chair, edging round to get a better view. It was wonderful - a porn film being played out for real right in front of me.

Before I knew it, Simone started to buck her hips and grunt. Joanne hung on to her trying to keep her lips in touch with Simone's pussy. Then Simone lifted up and jammed three fingers right into her cunt. Thrashing away at her insides I heard her mutter 'open wide' to Joanne as she started to cum. And I mean cum -splashes of female cum splattering down onto Joanne's face.

I watched mesmerised and hornier than I have ever felt in my life. Slowly Simone came back down to Earth. She bowed her head and kissed Joanne right on the lips. I watched as her tongue snaked out and licked her cum of her friend's face. She looked up at me, smiled and said, "Your turn, guys."

I gulped, not sure whether I was looking forward to this or not. Bryan came and stood in front of me, put his hands on my shoulder and pushed me down to the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the two girls cuddling each other, hands in each others pussies. But the main thing, the biggest thing was Bryan's snake-like cock dangling in the air about two inches from my face.

Tentatively I reached up and wrapped my hand round another man's cock. It felt hot - incredibly hot. I pulled the foreskin back and stared at the slit as it opened slightly with the pressure. I let go and then repeated. And repeated . Bryan's cock began to go grow firmer under my touch as he hardened. Thankfully Bryan was a 'constant'. His cock was more or less the same size hard or flaccid. (Me - I'm a grower and my relatively small four inch flaccid cock almost doubles in size when hard). I say thankfully, because it had just occurred to me to question whether I could actually get the bloody thing into my mouth.

I licked my lips, moved my mouth towards the head of his cock and took my first taste. It tasted of. . . well, nothing, really. Just like skin. I could smell him, but as yet I couldn't taste him. I started to bob my head up and down, - my mouth in an enlarged 'o' shape as I fellated him. I heard Bryan groan, and then I heard one of the girls as well. I turned my head slightly and looked across at them. They were staring at us men and I have to say they looked extremely turned on. They were panting and their fingers were moving faster and faster in each others pussies.

I decided there and then to give them a show. I grabbed Bryan's cock with one hand and started to wank him as I gobbled. Now I started to taste him and it was okay, and I began to wonder what it would be like to have him come in my mouth. After all, Simone had cum in Joanne's mouth - it was only fair I returned the favour. And so I sucked Bryan's cock and wanked him while the two girls diddled with each other. I have no idea how long I was at it for, except I know it was starting to hurt my knees and my jaw was starting to ache when Bryan started to thrust. I heard him say something like 'here it comes' which was when I chickened out. I pulled my mouth off his cock , closed my lips tight and wanked him to orgasm. With a groan he spurted all over my face catching me in the eye and stinging like a bastard.

Over my pants of exertion and Bryans groans of orgasm, I heard the familiar cries of women orgasming. I turned my head and caught sight of Joanne and Simone collapsing onto the floor.

And that was it. The first - and probably only - time I sucked another man's cock. After my award-winning blowjob, Simone rewarded me with the fuck that she had promised and it was great, but that's not what I wanted to tell you about. I know I'm not gay - I don't even think I'm bi-sexual, but I do know that given the right ingredients I could do it again. . . as long as there was a girl like Simone watching while I did it and ready to service me when it was over.

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