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Chris Benoit

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Dead now. Killed himself, his wife, and his kid. Nobody can figure out why but The Mexican is on every news talk show trying to make sense out of the madness. He thinks its because he didn't want to work with the nobody Phil Brooks. Despite being dead is still the best worker on ECW.

Was inducted into the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame in 2003. Murdered his family in 2007. Was overwhelmingly re-elected to the Hall of Fame in 2008, proving that pro-wrestling newsletter readers are some fucked up people.

After his death, his name was changed to THE GUY WHO NEVER EXISTED.

The Unfortunate IncidentEdit

On the weekend of June 22, 2007, the biggest moment in pro-wrestling and Chris Benoit history took place. Now known as The Unfortunate Incident, The Benoit Murders, The Benoit Killings, The Georgia Slayings, Roid Rage 07, and Mr. Benoit's Wild Ride, the story is considered by most to be the biggest thing to happen to wrestling since The Rock came back to help WWF beat WCW in the invasion.

It all started on Tuesday, June 19, 2007. Chris Benoit had just been demoted to the ECW brand, after months of being a top star in the Four Horsemen brand. In his final wrestling match, Benoit defeated Elijah Burke. Due to his win, he would then go to that Sunday's PPV, to fight for the vacant ECW Title (the top belt on RAW, but way behind the WWE, World, Intercontinental, European, Cruiserweight, Women's, Brass Knuckles, Four Horsement, nWo, and Disciples of Apocalypse Titles). He was scheduled to take on CM Punk.

On the afternoon of Friday, June 22, Mr. Benoit visited his family physician, Dr. Mark, to buy some gimmicks. Dr. Mark's office was about a 11 hour drive from Benoit's home in Georgia. On the ride back home, Benoit began making plans for his match with CM Punk. After several hours, police theorize that Benoit realized a match with CM Punk was a worse fate than hell, and he decided to get out of it any way he could.

On the night of Friday, June 22, police believe Mr. Benoit and his wife Nancy Benoit got into a heated argument over taking care of their son, whom they thought had Fragile X sydrome, which he did not. Police believe Nancy informed Chris that she was leaving him. Mr. Benoit then responded by taping Nancy's hands and feet together, rolling her in a blanket, and choking her with a cable cord.

Later that night, after taking a swim with son Daniel, Mr. Benoit put Daniel to bed. Late into the night (probably early Saturday morning), Mr. Benoit gave Daniel some Xanax and then injected him with steroids. Benoit then shot himself up with steroids, and went into a rage.

Later that day, Mr. Benoit informed World Wrestling Entertainment that he would be missing the house show that night, due to his family having food poisoning, but would change his flight. Mr. Benoit then changed his flight. He later got a call from WWE, informing him that his match with CM Punk was confirmed for Sunday's PPV. Mr. Benoit then hung himself.

Benoit never showed up for the PPV on Sunday. On Monday afternoon, police discovered the bodies. Police speculated the drugs Benoit purchased from Dr. Mark played a big factor in the murders, as did Benoit taking multiple steroids, thus being thrown into a weekend-long rage.

WWE responded to the tragic deaths by giving all their employees free drugs. Johnny "Morrison" Nitro would win the vacant ECW Title, taking Benoit's place. On Monday night, after hearing of Benoit viciously murdering his family, the WWE held a 3 hour tribute show, celebrating the career, life, and fantastically pulled-off murders of Benoit. On Tuesday morning, WWE was bombarded with negative reaction to the show, and decided to stop talking about Benoit in any way.

After months of investigating, Police closed the Benoit case in February of 2008, officially ruling that Chris Benoit did murder Nancy and Daniel. He did so while on drugs.

Fans of Benoit theorize that police are being hasty in their speculation. They believe that Chris Benoit never did drugs or steroids, because he was such a good worker. Most wrestling fans believe Benoit's brain was destroyed due to multiple chair shots he took from the bad workers he was forced to wrestle by evil promoter, Vince McMahon. Others feel that Nancy Benoit killed Chris and Daniel, before rolling herself in a blanket, tying her hands and feet together, and strangling herself. Some wrestling fans also believe that Nancy's ex-husband, Kevin Sullivan, killed Nancy and Daniel. Chris then discovered the bodies, went into a depression, and killed himself. Still, these are all just theories.

Several books have been written about the incident. "Benoit" was released in late 2007. Dave Meltzer has profited on the murders by selling a bunch of old Observers, and calling them a book. Rob Van Dam wrote a piece on the incident, called "Benoit Balls." I swear to christ, that isn't made up.

TriviaEdit

  • Had more ****+ matches than Ted Bundy.
  • Had a 59:1 T/E Ratio in his body when autopsied.
  • One week prior to his death had a T/E Ratio of 57:1 thus was in need of testosterone replacement therapy.
  • Was greatly beloved 'til becoming a cold blooded killer.
  • Nancy Grace can't stop talking about him.
  • The woman with the mouth thinks his doc should be under lock.
  • As opposed to Bryan's cock, which has been under lock for fifteen years.
  • Killed his wife
  • Reportedly ate two chicken salad sandwiches at one point
  • Killed his son
  • Won the 2004 Royal Rumble
  • Killed himself.

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