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Carlito

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Just shit.

Having an apple is a terrible gimmick and it has sold NO BUYS.

Actually wrestles worse in each of his matches than the one before it. True story.

Good thing he wants out of the WWE so he can keep sucking in Puerto Rico.

His Greatest MomentEdit

(Scene: The backstage hallway of MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Carlito, some trick, and her dog are leaving, probably for a three way. Their suspicious behaviour does not go unnoticed.)

Ric: Hey, where are you going?

Carlito: Me and Torrie are going out.

Ric: You're going out? Didn't you lose your match tonight?

Carlito: Yeah, but you know, they cheated or something. It's cool.

Ric: It's cool? Do you realize there's a Triple Threat Main Event match going on tonight, live on RAW, to see who goes to Wrestlemania? You're telling me it's cool you're leaving? You're not gonna stay and watch the show?

Carlito: Carlito's not in the main event. So what do I care?

Ric: Have you ever stopped to think that there's a reason why guys like you, and I'm talking about guys like you, are not in the main event? That's right, why you're not in the main event? It's because maybe you're a lazy, underachieving son of a bitch! Lucky to be walking the halls of this building! Lucky to be on the RAW roster! Lucky to be here at all! You're really pissing me off right now!

Carlito: What the hell's your problem?

Ric: My problem? I'll tell you what my problem is: guys like you! That have no passion! No GUTS! You want all the money, you want all the glory, you want to fly first class, you want to walk around with someone like her, YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! You haven't worked for it! You haven't bled, sweat, or paid the price to be here! That's what's driving me crazy. I'm walking this hall trying to figure out why guys like you are taking my spot! YEAH! Guys like you are taking my spot! I've been here forever! And I'm gonna work my ass off to stay here! McMahon told me today, if I want to stay, I gotta prove it to him! You want to stay, you have to prove it to yourself. It's not cool, it's pathetic. It's PATHETIC! I'm walking around trying to figure out what my name is, and you're leaving?!? Before the main event?!? YEAH, ME! Sometimes I walk around trying to figure out who I am, and the whole goddamn world knows who I am!!! Except me sometimes. And you're leaving?

(Ric exits, in the background, you can hear WHOO!'s, applause, and celebrating in Woodinville, WA)

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